I Am What You See In Me
I realized a very important lesson about my personality in the past year. I learned that in my relationships with people, I become what they see in me. You see good in me, I rise to meet your expectations. If you have low expectations of me, then I rise to those expectations as well. I don't know why, but this is who I am. Here's my main example...
I had a soccer coach in high school that I spent probably 2 or 3 years playing for. He was a really good coach. He knew the game well and he communicated what he wanted well. But one of the things that was very obvious to me was that I was not one of his favorite players. He treated the players he personally liked TOTALLY different than he did the rest of the team. It wasn't that he disliked the rest of us, but it was obvious who his favorites were. And guess how he chose who were his favorites, by who were the better players. Now I wasn't a horrible player in high school b/c to even get on this travel team you had to be decent, but by no means was I even close to the best on the team. And I knew that that was how my coach felt about me. That's how he viewed me, was as a "not the best" player on the team. And I'm not throwing a pity party here. This will make sense in a second... SO, I never amounted to much of a soccer player while under his coaching, b/c he never thought I was more than that.
Then probably the total opposite happened to me when I began working at East Bayou under Ron Robison. I was an inexperienced 21-year-old college kid who liked playing with videos that make Middle School students laugh. But Ron saw more in me. Not only did he SEE more in me, but he treated me like there was more in me. And guess what happened... I became more than I was before he was in my life. He invested time into me, money into me, his own life into me and the whole time he didn't see the person that stood in front of him, he saw the person that I could be in Christ. And I rose to the expectations b/c I knew he believed in me.
Imagine what someone can become when you put your faith in them.
I'd rather make the mistake of putting too much faith in someone, rather than making the even bigger mistake of putting to little faith in them.
I had a soccer coach in high school that I spent probably 2 or 3 years playing for. He was a really good coach. He knew the game well and he communicated what he wanted well. But one of the things that was very obvious to me was that I was not one of his favorite players. He treated the players he personally liked TOTALLY different than he did the rest of the team. It wasn't that he disliked the rest of us, but it was obvious who his favorites were. And guess how he chose who were his favorites, by who were the better players. Now I wasn't a horrible player in high school b/c to even get on this travel team you had to be decent, but by no means was I even close to the best on the team. And I knew that that was how my coach felt about me. That's how he viewed me, was as a "not the best" player on the team. And I'm not throwing a pity party here. This will make sense in a second... SO, I never amounted to much of a soccer player while under his coaching, b/c he never thought I was more than that.
Then probably the total opposite happened to me when I began working at East Bayou under Ron Robison. I was an inexperienced 21-year-old college kid who liked playing with videos that make Middle School students laugh. But Ron saw more in me. Not only did he SEE more in me, but he treated me like there was more in me. And guess what happened... I became more than I was before he was in my life. He invested time into me, money into me, his own life into me and the whole time he didn't see the person that stood in front of him, he saw the person that I could be in Christ. And I rose to the expectations b/c I knew he believed in me.
Imagine what someone can become when you put your faith in them.
I'd rather make the mistake of putting too much faith in someone, rather than making the even bigger mistake of putting to little faith in them.
Not an uncommon phenomenon. You are refering the Self-fullfilling prophecy. A study was done on grade school students where the kids were randomly selected and placed into two different classes. Two teachers were hired and teacher "A" was told that her students were gifted. Teacher "B" was told that her students were slower learners. The results showed that teacher A challenged her kids and expected more from them, therefore they performed better. With teacher B, she did not challenge or expect anything out of her class so they performed poorly. Same class levels but one succeeds and the other doesn't.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:03 AM
What a powerful realization to recognize that in yourself.
Posted by
whitney |
9:04 AM
That actually makes a lot of sense.
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:40 PM
Stephanie Duhon, It's good to hear from you! I hope you've been doing well.
Posted by
Sean Walker |
8:39 PM