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Self-discovery vs. Spoonfed

Here's a conversation I listened to in a movie the other night.

"-Should I go get him?
-No, just let him get himself.
-Well maybe he doesn't know how?
-Well then let's give him the opportunity to learn. Nothing like self-discovery for turning a boy to a man."

Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm a dad. B/c everything in me is the type that tries to think for people. And it's all out of good motives but I know it's not always good. It's still something I'm learning about myself, and hopefully figure out when and where it's a good thing and when it's a bad thing.

I have a lot more to say on this topic but I'll finish it later. I want to hear some comments from some parents on this. And please don't do it under "Anonymous" unless you have to. Peace out!

Wow! That's awesome. That's a sermon right there Ms. Vo. Can I steal that from you? And my question has always been, how do you know when to use the scissors and when to put them back in the drawer? I think I know the answer, but it's always easier to say then do.

You know, Sean, you should really put all this on one blog, it would make it easier on me to keep up with you. On some blogs [like TypePad I think], you can actually categorize your posts. Basically, it's the same thing you're doing here, just less mess. If you need some help, call me.

About the metaphor from Vo, one question seems to present itself. When it is a butterfly out of a cocoon and when is it a child trapped in a house fire. Her reference to discernment becomes key in dealing with these kinds of situations.

I struggle with this one, too, and I also tend to lean toward the spoonfed side. Still in proces, still in process.

"Her reference to discernment becomes key in dealing with these kinds of situations." Exactly. That's the answer I was thinking, but more specifically thinking about the Holy Spirit. And that topic opens up tons of questions. How do you become more sensitive to the HS? How do you tell the difference between a stomach ache, or a hidden hurt vs. the HS? And many more like these.

I think the answer comes in time spent with the Holy Spirit. To shortcut that is just dillusional folly. Time must be spent engaging God in the disciplines of prayer, meditation, study, fasting, silence, etc. You should borrow a book I have called "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Yeah, I'd agree about the rough and tumble vs. momma's boy type. I saw a great example of tuff love from a dad once. This is a guy who goes to EB and I was hanging out at his house once and his son (3yrs old or under) was playing and fell. Well his dad saw the whole thing. After his son fell, he got up started crying and walking towards his dad. Well his dad gave him the, "I know that didn't hurt that bad and that you're tuff enough to handle that" look and his son stopped crying and as quick as he started crying, started smiling again and went on playing.

I was impressed b/c I know that kid will grow up to be a person who can handle tuff things and not throw pitty parties over things that need to be sucked up and moved along from.

That's the type of father I want to be.

There is no easy way out...
Self discovery is just that SELF Discovery...
It's done through living life...

you can't shortcut natural growth..
You can however tie yourself to a stake ...or someone who is rooted Firmly and expect greater results than if you were left alone...

Spoon-fed... know anyone who made it through life never making a decision without calling his mom first...
It's a good fallback for a time... but eventually...you gotta step out. you may trip a couple times... but you won't be whining and asking somebody to carry you-
but you;ll still make it up the stairs..
and you'll have the muscle to prove it-

YOU WILL be the MAN.

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  • Who?: Sean Walker
  • What?: Husband/Grad Student/Student Pastor
  • When?: Now's good
  • Where?: Fort Worth, TX
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