« Home | More Blog Love » | Which Is Riskier? » | Here we go again... » | Geico Caveman Commercials » | The Intangible » | Christ Follower - Video 4 of 4 » | One Thing » | Would you...? » | Our Thanksgiving » | Gone, Like Frank Sinatra »

Guy's Rules

Don't worry, I didn't write this. But I like it :)

"Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping."

Labels:

my name is scott and I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING that was written in that message about women

scott it figures you would! lol

what is a mauve? And i especially liked rule number 1

Yeah, I knew you would post these. Just remeber who gave them to you.

Post a Comment

About me

  • Who?: Sean Walker
  • What?: Husband/Grad Student/Student Pastor
  • When?: Now's good
  • Where?: Fort Worth, TX
  • Why?: Ha!
  • Pics
  • Sermons
  • Videos
  • More Info

Home

My Videos

Networking

  • Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
  • Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

My Twitter Updates

A Pithy Quote 4 U

  • "The Bible is like a lion, you don't have to defend it, just turn it loose."

    -C.H. Spurgeon

Currently Listening To

  • Ace Troubleshooter

Currently Reading

  • "Parenting with Kingdom Purpose"
    by Ken Hemphill and Richard Ross

  • "Soul Searching"
    by Christian Smith

  • "Transformation of Student Ministry"
    by Richard Ross