Sunday, December 31, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
My Grandfather and Cousin Playing The Wii
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Q and Q
So this is my prayer:
That your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well.
Learn to love appropriately.
You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.
Live a lover's life, attentive and exemplary, a life He will be proud of:
Bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Him attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of The Father.
-Phillipians 1:9
Cool huh?
That your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well.
Learn to love appropriately.
You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.
Live a lover's life, attentive and exemplary, a life He will be proud of:
Bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Him attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of The Father.
-Phillipians 1:9
Cool huh?
Labels: Scripture
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Anonymous
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Church Hopping in DFW Post 1 - First-Time Guests
So basically, in Lafayette, on a Sunday morning, I've never been to another church besides East Bayou. Never. Oh wait, I spoke at FBC Broussard once for their DNow, but other than that I have NO CLUE what other churches do on Sunday morning.
SOOOOO, here's what I've been doing while in Fort Worth. This is one of the reasons I chose FW over New Orleans... My first weekend here I went to 2 churches. My second weekend, I went to 3 different churches. And this weekend I went to 3 again. It's been awesome.
It's been a blast. I'm intentionally going to churches that I know I won't even like, b/c I still want to see first-hand how they do church. But here's what I've gotten the most out of so far...
Just in the past 3 weekends, my perspective of how to treat visitors has TOTALLY CHANGED! Yeah you can talk about what your church beleives and what your worship is like and all that stuff but here is the ONE thing it comes down to. People. I used to say that I'd never join a traditional church. After these 3 weeks, that has changed. I'd join a traditional church in a heartbeat IF, I wanted to be around it's people bad enough. In a hearbeat.
Lifechurc.tv is the church that's been the best so far (and guess where I've been back every week). I attended the church the first time, and before I knew it, one of the pastors is taking me to lunch that day. Lifechurch immeadiately gave me the op to meet as many people as I wanted, or to be left alone. Some people want to get thrown in the deep end of what's happening and other want to just stand in the back and watch. Too many of the churches I've visited assume I want to stand in the back and watch. But I don't. But I'm also not going to jump in without an invitation. Yes they are only a church of 400 people and it's WAY easier at that size to reach out to everyone, but it's just as important for the mega-churches. It's make or break. People aren't coming back if they didn't like the people at your church.
I've attended one church on Saturday night for 3 weekends in a row. It's easy for me to slip in, go to service, and slip out without ever having to have a conversation with anyone. Yeah, a TON of people go there, but I pose this question to myself to figure out how to answer for the next time I'm involved in church leadership. How do you reach out to everyone, when you're 100 strong, or 1,000 strong.
First time guests are NASTY scared, and shy and have NO CLUE what the heck is going on. They don't know where the bathrooms are at, where they need to go, who can they talk to or how to get out of the parking lot. I think it needs to be OVERLY obvious what a church offers to a first-time guess. Some of the websites I've checked out take 5 minutes to find out when they're services are. Once I find the page, then I have to decifer they're excel spread sheet they use to post it. We need to beat guests to any questions they'd ask. If they want to talk your ear off let them. If they want to be left alone, leave 'em alone. Don't assume anything.
I do know this. I miss East Bayou. Yeah our speaking is great (and I don't just say that b/c he's my dad :) ), our music is kicking, but I miss not being able to make it out of the auditorium of our church without being asked, "Hey, how are you doing?" and not just "Hello, it's good to see you. I'll see you later." I mean an actual conversation.
I'm still in touch with a few people who've been members of east bayou and then have to move out of state for whatever reason, and every single one of them has yet to find a place like East Bayou. I haven't found one here yet. Some are close. And if I do find one here, I won't hesitate to join.
Yeah good music is cool. Yeah great speaking can change your life. But I guarantee your visitors will be back if they like the people and they are met where they're at.
Churches I've visited...
Lifechurch.tv Fort Worth Campus
This church is amazing. The music is live and the sermon is live too, but the pastor is on a screen and he's live via sattelite from the mothership church in Oklahoma. They meet in a school where they tear down and set up for every weekend. And then on Wednesday too for their youth service. They run about 400 people on a weekend. All of their campuses combined they run about 18,000.
Fellowship Church
Fellowship church is basically the biggest production church out there. Let me put it in perspective for you. VH1, the channel, rents equipment from these guys. Their media is amazing. Their videos put MTV to shame, and their music is like a Coldplay concert every weekend. But the thing I like the most about them is that it's all done very simply. Everyone gets it. Yeah their high in production, but it's not a distracting kind of production. It's a supportive type of production. It's just done very well. Their pastor, Ed Young, is a master at fishing. He's brilliant at simply sharing the gospel in a way that makes sense and everyone gets. this church I think runs arounf 18,000 on a weekend.
Wedgewood Baptist Church
I visited their college/career group this morning, but they weren't in full swing b/c of the holidays. I'll probably go back and check them out again. I'm told their pastor breaks out in song in the middle of his sermons. I look forward to seein that. :)
University Baptist Church
This church is on TCU's campus, but I couldn't find any college and career aged people there. I figured b/c it was on TCU's campus that's where all of their students would go. I was wrong.
SOOOOO, here's what I've been doing while in Fort Worth. This is one of the reasons I chose FW over New Orleans... My first weekend here I went to 2 churches. My second weekend, I went to 3 different churches. And this weekend I went to 3 again. It's been awesome.
It's been a blast. I'm intentionally going to churches that I know I won't even like, b/c I still want to see first-hand how they do church. But here's what I've gotten the most out of so far...
Just in the past 3 weekends, my perspective of how to treat visitors has TOTALLY CHANGED! Yeah you can talk about what your church beleives and what your worship is like and all that stuff but here is the ONE thing it comes down to. People. I used to say that I'd never join a traditional church. After these 3 weeks, that has changed. I'd join a traditional church in a heartbeat IF, I wanted to be around it's people bad enough. In a hearbeat.
Lifechurc.tv is the church that's been the best so far (and guess where I've been back every week). I attended the church the first time, and before I knew it, one of the pastors is taking me to lunch that day. Lifechurch immeadiately gave me the op to meet as many people as I wanted, or to be left alone. Some people want to get thrown in the deep end of what's happening and other want to just stand in the back and watch. Too many of the churches I've visited assume I want to stand in the back and watch. But I don't. But I'm also not going to jump in without an invitation. Yes they are only a church of 400 people and it's WAY easier at that size to reach out to everyone, but it's just as important for the mega-churches. It's make or break. People aren't coming back if they didn't like the people at your church.
I've attended one church on Saturday night for 3 weekends in a row. It's easy for me to slip in, go to service, and slip out without ever having to have a conversation with anyone. Yeah, a TON of people go there, but I pose this question to myself to figure out how to answer for the next time I'm involved in church leadership. How do you reach out to everyone, when you're 100 strong, or 1,000 strong.
First time guests are NASTY scared, and shy and have NO CLUE what the heck is going on. They don't know where the bathrooms are at, where they need to go, who can they talk to or how to get out of the parking lot. I think it needs to be OVERLY obvious what a church offers to a first-time guess. Some of the websites I've checked out take 5 minutes to find out when they're services are. Once I find the page, then I have to decifer they're excel spread sheet they use to post it. We need to beat guests to any questions they'd ask. If they want to talk your ear off let them. If they want to be left alone, leave 'em alone. Don't assume anything.
I do know this. I miss East Bayou. Yeah our speaking is great (and I don't just say that b/c he's my dad :) ), our music is kicking, but I miss not being able to make it out of the auditorium of our church without being asked, "Hey, how are you doing?" and not just "Hello, it's good to see you. I'll see you later." I mean an actual conversation.
I'm still in touch with a few people who've been members of east bayou and then have to move out of state for whatever reason, and every single one of them has yet to find a place like East Bayou. I haven't found one here yet. Some are close. And if I do find one here, I won't hesitate to join.
Yeah good music is cool. Yeah great speaking can change your life. But I guarantee your visitors will be back if they like the people and they are met where they're at.
Churches I've visited...
Lifechurch.tv Fort Worth Campus
This church is amazing. The music is live and the sermon is live too, but the pastor is on a screen and he's live via sattelite from the mothership church in Oklahoma. They meet in a school where they tear down and set up for every weekend. And then on Wednesday too for their youth service. They run about 400 people on a weekend. All of their campuses combined they run about 18,000.
Fellowship Church
Fellowship church is basically the biggest production church out there. Let me put it in perspective for you. VH1, the channel, rents equipment from these guys. Their media is amazing. Their videos put MTV to shame, and their music is like a Coldplay concert every weekend. But the thing I like the most about them is that it's all done very simply. Everyone gets it. Yeah their high in production, but it's not a distracting kind of production. It's a supportive type of production. It's just done very well. Their pastor, Ed Young, is a master at fishing. He's brilliant at simply sharing the gospel in a way that makes sense and everyone gets. this church I think runs arounf 18,000 on a weekend.
Wedgewood Baptist Church
I visited their college/career group this morning, but they weren't in full swing b/c of the holidays. I'll probably go back and check them out again. I'm told their pastor breaks out in song in the middle of his sermons. I look forward to seein that. :)
University Baptist Church
This church is on TCU's campus, but I couldn't find any college and career aged people there. I figured b/c it was on TCU's campus that's where all of their students would go. I was wrong.
Labels: Church, Church Hopping Posts, Ministry, People
Saturday, December 16, 2006
In a Movie
Why is is that when we're watching a movie we can so clearly see a character's path before they choose it?
Have you every caught yourself yelling at a character,"NO!!! Don't do that!!!! NO!!!! You'll..."? It's clear as day to us. We see the obvious... If they choose A, so and so will happen. And if they choose B, then so and so will happen. It's as clear as day.
So why can't we see our own lives that way?
I can even see it in other people's lives. They tell me a scenario that's going on in their life, and it's clear as day what they need to do or _____ will happen. But I don't have that ability when discerning my own choices. Hmm.
Have you every caught yourself yelling at a character,"NO!!! Don't do that!!!! NO!!!! You'll..."? It's clear as day to us. We see the obvious... If they choose A, so and so will happen. And if they choose B, then so and so will happen. It's as clear as day.
So why can't we see our own lives that way?
I can even see it in other people's lives. They tell me a scenario that's going on in their life, and it's clear as day what they need to do or _____ will happen. But I don't have that ability when discerning my own choices. Hmm.
Love & Others
"I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
I had a pretty cool realization tonight. I guess it wasn't really all that new, b/c I've kind of known these two things about myself, but I've never been able to put words around it like I did tonight. Here's what I've got...
I am most alive in two scenarios. One, when I'm in love. And two, when God is using me to help others.
That's it. That's me in a nutshell. Those are the two things I'm most alive during, that I enjoy the most, that I'd fight for, that I'd die for, that I'm obssesed with, that I would give anything to do... that's me.
When I'm in love... I mean seriously, for me, there is nothing more consuming. I want to redefine what it means to love... to marry... to know someone. Love is rediculously amazing. But there has to be a lot of wisdom that goes along with something so powerful though, right? B/c it is that powerful.
God using me to help others... God using me to build something in another person? God using me to encourage? To help heal? To help seal a decision? To help grow? To help become?... I mean is there anything more important? Anything cooler or exciting?
So that's me. Crazy huh? Yeah, I know, but I can't turn it off. It's me.
I bet you don't have to guess what time this post was written at huh? :) Goodnight.
I had a pretty cool realization tonight. I guess it wasn't really all that new, b/c I've kind of known these two things about myself, but I've never been able to put words around it like I did tonight. Here's what I've got...
I am most alive in two scenarios. One, when I'm in love. And two, when God is using me to help others.
That's it. That's me in a nutshell. Those are the two things I'm most alive during, that I enjoy the most, that I'd fight for, that I'd die for, that I'm obssesed with, that I would give anything to do... that's me.
When I'm in love... I mean seriously, for me, there is nothing more consuming. I want to redefine what it means to love... to marry... to know someone. Love is rediculously amazing. But there has to be a lot of wisdom that goes along with something so powerful though, right? B/c it is that powerful.
God using me to help others... God using me to build something in another person? God using me to encourage? To help heal? To help seal a decision? To help grow? To help become?... I mean is there anything more important? Anything cooler or exciting?
So that's me. Crazy huh? Yeah, I know, but I can't turn it off. It's me.
I bet you don't have to guess what time this post was written at huh? :) Goodnight.
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Update
Fort Worth is amazing. I love it. 95% of the roads here are at least 3 lanes wide. I feel like I'm on a race track. Everything is really close. I'm a mile away from I-20 so I hop on the interstate pretty much every day and go one or two exits down and they have just about everything.
The campus is beautiful. It's HUGE for a seminary campus.
My brothers Michael and Tim were absolutely huge in helping me move. We got in to town around 2pm and got the uhaul unloaded in no time b/c Mark Rinberger and Joe Garner came and helped.
My place is small but definitely doable. It's 1-bedroom duplex on campus that rent is very inexpensive for.
Work is kind of on hold for the moment. I'm trying to get a job waiting tables and I've got some restaurants that are hiring but they just can't train right now b/c of the holiday rush, so The two places I'm hoping on working at are either Outback Steakhouse, or Saltgrass Steakhouse. I'll find out the 1st week of January which one hires me.
So right now in my free time, I'm running errands, Christmas shopping, setting up my place, running and working out at the Rec Center they have on campus, and watching movies every night. It's definitely different then when I was back in Lafayette working, where I rarely had time to watch any TV or chill for more than a day.
I'll be back in Lafayette in less than a week for Loren Carriere's wedding, then stay in town for the holidays, and then be back in FW the first week of January.
I've met a bunch of people. I've met pretty much most of Mark crew here at the seminary. Of course they're a blast. Ultimate frisbee was kind of crazy with them... Running around outside at 10pm on a Sunday night when it feels like it's about 5 degrees outside.
I think my body has already become more tolerable to the cold here. It's not too different from Lafayette this week but 2 weeks ago it was much colder than LAfayette, and the first 5 days here I had no heater b/c it's a gas heater and the gas company hadn't come out yet, so I snagged a mini heater from walmart and used an electric heating blanket I already had to make due. The first night was rough, but after that I got used to it. And now that I have heat, I haven't even turned it on yet.
I think I've found the church I'm going to commit to. I'm still doing my church hopping on Saturday night and early Sunday morning, but I've been consistently going to a church called LifeChurch.tv, which is also their web address. They feel just like East Bayou. It's great. They meet in a school so they set up and tear down every sunday for their corporate worship service, and then they do it again for their youth service on wednesday night. I'm amazed what they do. But it's just how church works for them, they don't even seem to think twice about it.
I think's that pretty much it that's been going on. Things will really pick up when I come back in January and begin work and begin classes.
I'll try to get some pics up soon too.
The campus is beautiful. It's HUGE for a seminary campus.
My brothers Michael and Tim were absolutely huge in helping me move. We got in to town around 2pm and got the uhaul unloaded in no time b/c Mark Rinberger and Joe Garner came and helped.
My place is small but definitely doable. It's 1-bedroom duplex on campus that rent is very inexpensive for.
Work is kind of on hold for the moment. I'm trying to get a job waiting tables and I've got some restaurants that are hiring but they just can't train right now b/c of the holiday rush, so The two places I'm hoping on working at are either Outback Steakhouse, or Saltgrass Steakhouse. I'll find out the 1st week of January which one hires me.
So right now in my free time, I'm running errands, Christmas shopping, setting up my place, running and working out at the Rec Center they have on campus, and watching movies every night. It's definitely different then when I was back in Lafayette working, where I rarely had time to watch any TV or chill for more than a day.
I'll be back in Lafayette in less than a week for Loren Carriere's wedding, then stay in town for the holidays, and then be back in FW the first week of January.
I've met a bunch of people. I've met pretty much most of Mark crew here at the seminary. Of course they're a blast. Ultimate frisbee was kind of crazy with them... Running around outside at 10pm on a Sunday night when it feels like it's about 5 degrees outside.
I think my body has already become more tolerable to the cold here. It's not too different from Lafayette this week but 2 weeks ago it was much colder than LAfayette, and the first 5 days here I had no heater b/c it's a gas heater and the gas company hadn't come out yet, so I snagged a mini heater from walmart and used an electric heating blanket I already had to make due. The first night was rough, but after that I got used to it. And now that I have heat, I haven't even turned it on yet.
I think I've found the church I'm going to commit to. I'm still doing my church hopping on Saturday night and early Sunday morning, but I've been consistently going to a church called LifeChurch.tv, which is also their web address. They feel just like East Bayou. It's great. They meet in a school so they set up and tear down every sunday for their corporate worship service, and then they do it again for their youth service on wednesday night. I'm amazed what they do. But it's just how church works for them, they don't even seem to think twice about it.
I think's that pretty much it that's been going on. Things will really pick up when I come back in January and begin work and begin classes.
I'll try to get some pics up soon too.
Labels: School
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Google It
Here's my new answer to every question...
Google it!
How do you dress up for an 80's themed party? Google it.
How do find out where the nearest goodwill is at? Google it.
How do you find out the weather in Russia? Google it.
How do you find out what's wrong with cousin Ed? Google it.
What are the lyrics to that new Fatboy Slim song? Google it.
Next to Apple, I think Google is probably my favorite company. My first born is going to be named "Steve Jobs Walker", and my second born is going to be named "Larry Page Walker." :) (if you're asking yourself, "who is Larry Page?" google it)
Speaking of google. Check this out. It's Google's Top Ten Things in their philosophy. It's pretty cool. Some of them are definitely applicable to how a church should be run.
Google it!
How do you dress up for an 80's themed party? Google it.
How do find out where the nearest goodwill is at? Google it.
How do you find out the weather in Russia? Google it.
How do you find out what's wrong with cousin Ed? Google it.
What are the lyrics to that new Fatboy Slim song? Google it.
Next to Apple, I think Google is probably my favorite company. My first born is going to be named "Steve Jobs Walker", and my second born is going to be named "Larry Page Walker." :) (if you're asking yourself, "who is Larry Page?" google it)
Speaking of google. Check this out. It's Google's Top Ten Things in their philosophy. It's pretty cool. Some of them are definitely applicable to how a church should be run.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Update Coming
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Shrinking Yourself
This definitely goes along with my previous post, "Which is Riskier?"
I heard it last night...
"You don't do anyone a favor by shrinking in their presence."
I heard it last night...
"You don't do anyone a favor by shrinking in their presence."
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Ride Guides
For those of you who this embaresses, my apologies.
I found these when I was packing. This is my original crew who led the middle school at East Bayou when I was there. They were awesome and I miss them tons! The Ride was our Sunday morning program back in 2004, so we called ourselves the Ride Guides.
These pics are a reminder of why I moved here to school. B/c I want to prepare myself as best as possible to lead these types of amazing people to impact students for the rest of my life.
I found these when I was packing. This is my original crew who led the middle school at East Bayou when I was there. They were awesome and I miss them tons! The Ride was our Sunday morning program back in 2004, so we called ourselves the Ride Guides.
These pics are a reminder of why I moved here to school. B/c I want to prepare myself as best as possible to lead these types of amazing people to impact students for the rest of my life.
oFFicial
I guess this makes it officail huh? :)
It's not the best pic in the world, but you can tell who it is.
The move went well. I still have a lot of unpacking to do. My "to do" list was huge as I prepared to leave Lafayette, and now it's just as big as I get settled in and prepare for next semester.
Sorry no post recently. I'll post more soon I hope.
It's not the best pic in the world, but you can tell who it is.
The move went well. I still have a lot of unpacking to do. My "to do" list was huge as I prepared to leave Lafayette, and now it's just as big as I get settled in and prepare for next semester.
Sorry no post recently. I'll post more soon I hope.
Labels: School
Friday, December 01, 2006
My Entire Life Is In My Parent's Driveway
Tonight is my last night in Lafayette, LA. It's not feeling like what I expected it to feel like. I thought I would be more sad and begin to miss Lafayette. But it's quite the opposite. 
I can't wait to go. For me today was just like any other day. A year and a half ago I would of been scared out of my mind to do what I'm going to do tomorrow, but today, it's not even a thing. Maybe tomorrow it will hit me. Maybe not. I dunno. We'll see.
My brother Tim was helping me load my uhaul trailer today (which by the way he has mad skills at packing and backing up into tight spots) and I was telling him, "I can't imagine having to go through life alone." I say that b/c these past 6 months, I've been SO BLESSED by the people around me. WOW! From gifts to cards to hugs to encouraging words to surprise parties to people giving me household appliances that I can't afford on my own. I've been FLOORED by everyone's love. I could not have made it through this move with everyone. I don't want to even begin naming names b/c I'll leave someone out, but I have to give props to my brother Tim who has let me steal his car, has driven me around town, helped me pack, and tons more this past month and all without hesitation to help even more.
So the point of this post is two fold. 1, to say thanks to everyone. 2, to say get involved with a church family b/c life is stupid without one.
I can't wait to go. For me today was just like any other day. A year and a half ago I would of been scared out of my mind to do what I'm going to do tomorrow, but today, it's not even a thing. Maybe tomorrow it will hit me. Maybe not. I dunno. We'll see.My brother Tim was helping me load my uhaul trailer today (which by the way he has mad skills at packing and backing up into tight spots) and I was telling him, "I can't imagine having to go through life alone." I say that b/c these past 6 months, I've been SO BLESSED by the people around me. WOW! From gifts to cards to hugs to encouraging words to surprise parties to people giving me household appliances that I can't afford on my own. I've been FLOORED by everyone's love. I could not have made it through this move with everyone. I don't want to even begin naming names b/c I'll leave someone out, but I have to give props to my brother Tim who has let me steal his car, has driven me around town, helped me pack, and tons more this past month and all without hesitation to help even more.
So the point of this post is two fold. 1, to say thanks to everyone. 2, to say get involved with a church family b/c life is stupid without one.
Guy's Rules
Don't worry, I didn't write this. But I like it :)
"Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping."
"Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping."
Labels: Funny
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